Stoke Round 4

Stoke Race Series - Round 4

More to follow.......

In search of Dorothy (and a bit of common courtesy)

Southampton Club National
Sunday 22nd July

And so to the final Club National of 2007, held in sunshine at a picturesque if somewhat isolated part of suburban Southampton. Indeed after parking the car and loading our gear onto a shoulder saving van we were directed down a tree lined gravel path. This in turn eventually led to a rather meandering brick road and at this point I half expected to shortly be bumping into the Tin Man, Dorothy and Toto.

With a really short slope, almost certainly the shortest of the season, and a sharp incline the course was never going to be straight. Indeed after the course setter settled for its third incarnation, it was almost as twisting and mazy as the route down from the car park. Kind out of the start, swing a right, after the hairpin take the first left go straight on for a bit, over the rainbow and fork right. Even TomTom would have required a full course inspection for this one.

In the minis, Jordan failed to adapt his style to the course and struggled to a somewhat pained 2nd place. Indeed, despite the Bloxwich High Street feel provided by the continued firing of the starter’s gun at the neighbouring Athletics track Jordan never really settled all day and skied his three runs like his boots were chock-a-block with lead. Nathan conversely proved that the course could be negotiated smoothly and added another impressive finish to his tally with 4th place. With this race providing probably the season’s biggest field of minis this was a real achievement.

Representation in the female category was unusually sparse for Telford with only the Gould girls in action and with Charlotte producing an unfortunate brace of morning DNF’s it was left to sister George (sounds like a nun) to fly the Telford flag with a super trio of runs placing her a creditable 8th in Chi 2.

In the boys, Ben Cooper promised much with a really encouraging first run that had him placed inside the overall top 20. However a 2nd run dnf and 3rd run first gate straddle left everyone frustrated at one that really got away. Ashley again did what Ashley does and after a feet finding first run he blasted a magnificent second that saw him in 6th place overall at lunch. Sadly he couldn’t quite hold onto this position in the afternoon run and despite another cracking run that saw him comfortably win his category he came home slightly disappointed in 12th position.

Jobsworth of the day has to go to the fellow who shuffled racers into the start gate “number 27…number 26...number 25” might have been an efficient way to greet racers as they prepared themselves to get into the gate but it wasn’t particulally friendly or pleasant. Still, as I’ve previously noted, if put any man in a florescent jacket and provide him with a clip board and a scrap of paper it's a big risk to expect them to also use anything even slightly resembling common sense - especially those who also have moustaches! So imagine the scene as an already DSQ’d Charlotte turns up in the start for her last run after the minis 3rd run had already been completed. It wasn’t her or my fault that the awfully nice and cheery chap who got the kids in order wasn’t listening when we tried to tell him that Charlotte was a DSQ and should subsequently go before the beginning the final run. Nor was it our fault that he decided to shuffle Charlotte in before the girls’ race, but that didn’t deter Moustachioed man from getting all tetchy and officious as we turned up out of sequence at the start gate. Getting tetchy with teenage girls who were only doing what they were told isn’t big or clever.

Man of the day however has to go to Ashley Breese. The fact he was gutted to have finished 12th was testimony to how far he has progressed this year and another sub 100 point score will find him mixing in esteemed company in the summer ending National Championships.

Getting Ready To Rumble

Celtic Cup Rounds 5 & 6
Gloucester
14th & 15th July

With rounds 5 & 6 of Snowsport Wales’ popular Celtic Cup series on the weekend agenda all roads led to the leafy and somewhat sun drenched Welsh town of, erm, Gloucester. Still, if you’re going to borrow part of England for the weekend Gloucester is a decent place to start.

Saturday’s racing was split into two halves, a morning two run single course aggregate timed race and an afternoon dual slalom.

In the minis Jordan Fellows overcame a relatively scratchy first run with a scorching second run to claim a win and Nathan Breese again proved that age and size are no barrier against talent by posting 9th place and leaving a trail of older more experienced minis in his wake.

The Girls race saw Claire Brown take the Telford honours with 20th overall and 4th in chi 2, Charlotte Gould was frustrated back in 22nd overall and sister George should be delighted with 28th. Slowly, but surely, the green shoots of belief are growing, a belief that is reflected in the continued dropping of her times, finishing positions and seed points are coming down. Ellen Brown can also be pleased with her day posting 8th in chi 1 with two solid runs.

Ashley Breese led the way in the boys race, backing up an impressive first run with a solid 2nd to claim another top 30 placing with 29th and 2nd in chi 1. Jake Williams proved to be Mr Consistent with two runs separated by 0.06 seconds to post overall 32nd (5th chi 2), Ben Cooper’s first run dnf left him to contemplate the afternoon duals and Joe Humfress can be pleased with a morning that found him 8th in category and 46th overall.

Unlike just about every FA Cup final that’s ever been, the afternoon duals lived up to the promise of their billing. There’s nothing like head to head racing for excitement. Racers find a gear many of them didn’t know was there as they launch themselves down a hill with the sole intention of finishing ahead of the in the other start gate. Two races stood out from a Telford perspective – the final of the minis with Jordan facing Robert Poth and the big Telford head to head shoot out as Ashley and Ben faced up like two stags at dawn. All that was missing was booming music as each of our skiing cruiserweights made their entrance and Michael Buffer giving it the old "Llllllleeeeeeeeetttttttttsssssss get ready to RRRRRRUUUUMMMMBBBBBLLLEEE." Nothing could separate them as they left the gate and raced down the course, both looking for the one knockout edge change that would propel them across the line first. Gate after gate they slugged it out with nothing more than a cigarette paper between them. However, experience told in the end as the wily nous of Ashley kept him clear of trouble and two gates from requiring the judges decision Ben’s guard slipped and one late gate left him flat out on the mat as Ashley was announced as the victor.

In the minis final Jordan and Robert also slugged it out like a pair of gladiators. The first run of the final left Jordan 0.03 sec after the two lads had produced a breath taking display of synchronised skiing. And after suggesting that he might overturn the deficit in run two, a snatched pole mid way down left Robert with the door ajar. Six gates later and Jordan was again looking like he was homing in but Robert’s brace of faultless runs proved too good and Jordan came in as runner up by an aggregate of 0.07 seconds

For Sunday’s race it was back to the standard routine of one run on two courses and a rain storm of Glastonbury proportions. Indeed given the amount of water and mud around all we were missing was 40 minute sets from The Who and the Arctic Monkeys.

The minis race again saw another Jordan and Robert slug fest. With only 0.15 seconds separating them at the halfway stage the scene was set for another battle royale. And indeed it was, as Robert reacted to a stunner of a second run from Jordan to keep PacBoy at bay. Nathan Breese’s fall midway through the second run cost him the chance of a top 6 place and Kirran’s pair of solid runs found him placed in 8th.

In the girls race Charlotte Gould (6th Jun 1) reversed Saturday’s finishing positions by squeezing in front of an ever more confident Claire Brown (4th in chi 2) with 16th & 17th respectively. George Gould Climbed into 28th overall (11th in category) and not to be outdone the ever smiling Ellen Brown came home in 31st overall & 6th in category.

Ashley Breese again led the Telford charge in the boys race, producing another solid pair of runs to scoop 1st place in chi 1 and 29th overall. Ben Cooper finally added a plastic finish to his snow results placing 4th in chi 2 and 34th overall with Joe Humfress two category places back in 6th.

Congratulations to Ashley for winning the Childran 1 category of the Celtic Cup Series 2007 and Jake Williams for taking overall 3rd in Chi 2.

Sunshine and Skis with Dr Foster

Gloucester Club National
Saturday 7th July –

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester in a shower of, erm, sunshine! and let's be honest - it's been a while since we could say that. With Glasgow attracting a few of the Telford racers, the more local (and infinitely more sensible option) was the short drive down the M5 to the Club National at Gloucester.

The Minis race, awash with Telford debutants, saw Emma Taylor claim a fine 7th place in her first ever outing, a feat impressively matched by her brother Daniel in the boys race. Equally impressive was the 8th place finish achieved by William Lucas. Kirran however was no so fortunate, as a promising morning was lost with a third run ruined by a mid course fall.

In the Girls race Charlotte Gould led the way for Telford, squeezing into the overall top 20 and 6th in Junior 1 with times that improved throughout the day. Charlotte Shrimpton overcame a 2nd run straddle to claim 29th overall and 9th in chi 2 and George Gould claimed 12th in the same category. Our fourth debutant Kirsty Thomas also impressed, claiming 9th in Junior 1 and sub 200 seed points.

In the Boys Marco Furio led the charge with 14th place in the always competitive Children 2 category and Tarran Noble secured 18th in the same class in his first race of the summer.

Ever Get The Feeling You Weren't Really Wanted?

Xscape Series Races 3 & 4
Glasgow
7th & 8th July

You’d have thought, given that they appear to attract fewer paying customers than a Japanese suicide pilot had willing volunteers, when 180 of the countries best racers turned up they might have made a bit of an effort. It’s not like I expected the unrolling of a red carpet or anything as dramatic, indeed their white one is clearly far superior to every other one on our island. What I didn’t expect however was to be made to feel a bit of a nuisance, an inconvenience, a pain in the rear end.

Clearly poor planning was an issue. The facilities event co-ordinator (yes, unbelievably they really do have one) obviously failed to consider the real implications of the best part of 600 people turning up to either race, support, finance or spectate. Which, in turn, led to the farcical, not to mention dangerous, situation that engulfed the corridor between the bar facilities (no outside food) and the exit. An exit that was obstructed by skis, boots, bags, poles, chairs, bodies, the commentary booth and a timing board all sardined between a humungous staircase. Add to this a lack of seating facilities for anyone who was intending to consume anything but bar food and a security guard who took over zealous to a new and all to extreme level and you can feel the volcano of frustration preparing to explode.

By god that Security man was keen. I can’t believe that the job description demanded the ruthless, single dimensional focus of the Terminator, the charisma levels of a daisy or the people skills of Darth Vador but fair play to the fella, he gave it his very best shot. Heaven only knows what he’d have done had he been issued with a light sabre. Indeed, after watching him irritate people all morning the sight of him tipping four pairs of Atomics from the wall to the floor (two of which were mine) nearly pushed me over the edge. He has no idea of quite how close he came to pushing up the aforementioned daisy.

And so to the racing. Saturday’s courses were direct contrasts of one another with a relatively straight course in the morning followed by a second much more technical one at lunchtime. Jordan overcame a dodgy first three gates to string two decent runs together and claimed 2nd place. Nathan Breese went one better and stormed to victory in the junior mini category.

In the Children’s race Telford’s representatives missed out with Ashley Breese compiling a brace of dnf’s whilst Ben Cooper, after a great 1st run, imploded on run 2 falling at Gate 3 and skiing the rest of the course like he’d been twin tagged by Evander Holyfield and Lennox Lewis.

In the afternoon dual slalom race Telford managed to squeeze through round 1, despite a hefty barracking from the rogues representing Hemel and a somewhat backcountry 4th run from the heart stopping Mr Cooper. Round 2 proved a level too far however and whilst the oppositions superior skiing may have played a substantial part in our defeat I have reason to believe my foursome were looking at an early exit in order to minimise the time delay between prize giving and the all you can eat Chinese.

With trophies collected, refuelling was now the only issue and, oh my life, the waiter had the shock of his life when yours truly shuffled through the entrance. The cunning earlier decision to send the slimline Mrs F to pre book a table had lulled them into a false sense of security and the restaurant manager gulped visibly and expired a bead of sweat as he guided us past the buffet whilst simultaneously calculating if that pallet of black bean sauce he’d had delivered yesterday was going to survive the next hour and a half. The Scottish Poultry industry called an emergency minutes’ silence, then switched to crisis overtime as the chicken curry took the kind of beating Frank Bruno took from Iron Mike Tyson and the national reserve of spare ribs plummeted like the Stock Market on Black Wednesday. The lager wasn’t bad either.

Sunday morning saw frustrations reach a new peak. With fewer seats available than during the final round of musical chairs, equipment having to be dumped in a conference room and Robosecurityman refreshed for another battle I was always going to be a lot closer to resembling Hulk than I ever was to David Banner.

On the snow, Jordan produced another solid, if unspectacular brace of runs to claim 3rd place in the Mini 1 category. In Mini 2 Nathan Breese recovered from a subdued first run to blast back in run 2 to claim 2nd place. Ashley claimed 3rd in chi 1 with two runs that should move him closer to the front of the field by the time we get to Castleford. Man of the day however was Ben Cooper, who produced his best racing pair of runs to place well up the overall field.

Will It Ever Stop Raining?

Stoke Club National
Saturday 30th June

Ah, the summer months. Wimbledon, strawberries and cream, barbecues in the garden after work, Pimms and lemonade in the Members Enclosure accompanied by the sweet sound of willow striking leather, maybe even a lazy weekend picnic on parkland scorched by the sun and parched by a chronic lack of moisture.

Well no, not really. How about standing in the pouring rain, utterly drenched at the top of a ski slope, just a few metres closer than most to heavens that are opening and unleashing a torrent of precipitation that, after swamping you, sadistically decides to multiply it’s own irritation level by entrenching itself into the timing gear whilst you wait patiently getting ever wetter at the top of the slope. Will it ever stop raining?

For the convenience of travelling and the fact that it’s a close as we’ll probably ever come to a ‘home’ Club National Stoke is always the first race we all look for on the calendar. As usual Telford produced a decent turnout and with the obvious exception of Abby Clifford’s tracksuit bottoms most of us had a pretty decent day.

The minis race was dominated by Jordan, who in posting the three fastest times of the day, swept to a relatively comfortable victory. Nathan Breese ensured that Telford were again well represented on the podium with another fantastic 3rd place finish. However both boys achievements were overshadowed by Claire Ainsworth, who produced a trio of clean runs to claim victory on her national racing debut. Could her smile get any wider?

In the Girls Georgina Gould again proved her racing credentials with three of her best runs of the season to claim 15th in category and sub 200 points. Charlotte Shrimpton returned to the slope which claimed that front tooth and also produced three consistent times in claiming a creditable 11th place in the same category. Charlotte Gould endured a day that made the weather look bright with a 3rd run dnf that followed scratchy, un-Charlotte like morning. Claire Brown dazzled everyone with three great runs to claim the an excellent 6th in Chi 2 and 18th overall, a position all the more impressive given here lack of Club National experience. Female of the day however has to go to Abby Clifford, who picked herself up off the floor following a pretty hefty bottom section crash that accounted for an 18 inch tear in the side of her tracky bottoms and went on to post the fastest times in both runs 2 & 3 and claim overall and category victories.

Again, we were well represented in the boys field with Marco Furio putting aside debut nerves and a first run dnf to post a brace of promising times to collect 13th in chi 2. Joe Humfress sneaked home in front of Marco with a 12th place in category with both performances providing light at the end of Ben Cooper’s dnf tunnel. He is fast, he will get it right. The male performance of the day however goes to Ashley Breese who improved run on run over the day and so nearly claimed a win in chi, shaded into 2nd by 0.05 seconds.





Sunday 1st July – Pendle Grand Prix 2

With the WMSA Grand Prix unceremoniously moved 17 junctions up the M6 and rebranded into a 2nd NWSF race the amount of racers from Telford were inevitably low. With only four on the acceptance list this was reduced even further by Abby Clifford’s late decision to dry out from the previous day’s racing it was left to the trio of Miss Shrimpton, Gould & Gould to fly the Telford flag on the Witches Hill. Charlotte Gould’s miserable weekend ended as it had begun with a dnf but both of our chi 1 girls can be chuffed with their performances. Charlotte Shrimpton posted her best placing of the season with a super 5th place in category and 16th overall and George Gould placed 7th in category and 18th overall despite stating with bib number 40.

And no it never did stop raining.

Which fool decided to put the car park down there?

Saturday 23rd June. Celtic Cup round 3 - Pontypool

In the morning I awake,
My arms, my legs, my body aches,
The sky outside is wet and grey.
So begins another weary day.
So begins another walk up that bloody hill from the car park with skis and boots and benches and wax boxes and fold up chairs and moaning kids

Apologies to Nutty Boy connoisseurs for the final line but Grey Day by Madness could never have been more appropriate. Pontypool is a fantastic facility deep in the Welsh valleys – well to be more precise the slope itself is in Pontypool. The car park however seems to be somewhere on the outskirts of Merthyr Tydfil. Still if you’ve never been before, just imagine the fun in hiking all your gear and a couple of grumpy kids over a valley and a half of welsh parkland. Indeed, if you possess more arms that the Chinese military, the endurance of a camel and the patience of a saint then it’s a doddle. Otherwise, pretend you’re in a rush to get the boy on the slope in time for practice and promote the other half to the position of senior logistics co-ordinator. Viola, problem solved.

Saturday’s racing was split into two races. A morning & lunchtime two run slalom and a late afternoon single run GS. The slalom saw success for Jordan Fellows who, after shading the first run, blitzed the field on run 2 to claim a comfortable win. Nathan Breese again posted a brace of immaculate runs to claim a fine 6th place despite gravity not really being all that helpful.

In the Girls race Abby Clifford missed out with a dnf but Charlotte Gould ensured that Telford were represented within the overall top 20 and claimed 8th position in category. Charlotte Shrimpton posted her best result of the season by taking 23rd overall and 6th in category and George Gould collected her personal best tally of seed points with a pair of great runs to finish 8th in category and 28th overall

In the boys Ashley Breese posted the best single run of the day from a Telford racer and followed it up with another belter in the second run to claim 2nd in category and 22nd overall. Jake Williams claimed his first podium of the season, collecting 3rd in chi 2 with Joe Humfress, adapting to life on new skis, not far behind in 8th. Ben Cooper, also on new Atomics, endured another frustrating slalom after bursting out of his bindings on run 1 but still went on to post a brace of finishes in claiming 15th in category.

The afternoon GS was an altogether new affair for many of the Telford Racers. In the minis Nathan Breese claimed 11th place and Jordan claimed another podium place in 2nd. In the females, Abby Clifford ended the day on a high with 6th overall & 3rd in category, Charlie Gould defied even her own expectations with 13th overall and 3rd in category and Charlotte Shrimpton and George Gould both impressed on plastic GS debuts with overall finishes of 24th & 37th respectively.

In the boys, Jake Williams scorched to a superb win in category, Ashley Breese posted 2nd in category, Joe Humfress claimed 13th in children 2 and to the sound of a standing ovation and sighs of relief that could be heard back all the way in the Midlands Ben Cooper collected his first ever national podium position after blasting to 3rd place in chi 2.

Sunday 24th June. Celtic Cup Round 4 - Pontypool

Sunday’s slalom was a slightly more jaded affair as we all felt the after effects of another leg busting climb up the path and the longest racing day of the year 24 hours earlier. In the minis Jordan Fellows survived a 180 mid air spin to claim 2nd and Nathan Breese again proved his sound technique with a fine 6th place finish.

In the Girls, Charlotte Gould survived a mis-placed pole out of the start of run 1 to post 20th place and sister George bettered her performance of the previous day with a fantastic 22nd and sub 200 seed points.

In the boys Ashley Breese let victory slip through is fingers (or legs to be more precise) with a final gate straddle, Jake Williams claimed a great 2nd in category and Joe Humfress can look forward to the publishing of the next set of seed points after improving his seed point ranking in claiming a great 9th place in chi 2.

Storm Clouds Blown Away By Sharp Breese

Saturday 15th June - Sunderland Club National

Rarely do you get a decent Friday afternoon motorway drive, it’s a familiar drill of stop-start-stop on the tarmac and a proverbial cry of “are we there yet” from the back as you nudge bumper to bumper through Wednesbury High Street. This particular Friday afternoon, however, took frustration to an altogether different level. With the global warming induced monsoon season in full swing and the Bloxwich Farmers Guild considering converting their land into paddy fields on a full time basis a small but determined band of Telford racers crawled their way north. The only certainty being that it was a long way and that they were never going to make Friday night practice.

Saturday’s Club National was no less of a test of endurance. Given a course that threw out more people than a stressed night-club bouncer it was clear that whilst the quest for speed was still the key, thoughts of survival wouldn’t be all that far behind.

And so it proved as Ashley compiled a brace of morning dnf’s to bring a premature end to his day with Ben Cooper, after posting a time in run 2, following suit in his 3rd run.

In the Girls, Ellen Brown proved that endurance was the key as she scored increasingly quicker times through the day in claiming a great 5th place in Chi 1 and sister Claire followed suit with progressively faster runs to claim an excellent 5th in Chi 2. In the Junior categories Charlotte Gould also posted a trio of increasingly impressive times to claim an excellent 6th in category, 16th overall and sub 100 seed points, a performance eclipsed only by Abby Clifford who scored a win in category, 2nd place overall and notched the fastest female time of the day.

In the minis Jordan Fellows failed to capitalise on an excellent morning with a 3rd run mistake leading to a hefty wipe-out, a face full of matting and the inevitable dnf. However man of the day has to go to Nathan Breese, who claimed what will surely be the first of many Club National wins. In a category dominated by dnf’s the Pocket Rocket produced three flawless runs to take victory as his more experienced counterparts struggled to cope with the course conditions. Well done lad.

Sunday 16th June - Sunderland Grand Prix

As with the previous days Club National course, the Sunday Grand Prix collected more than it's fair share of dnf's & dsq's. Abby, Ashley & Charlotte's day was all over before it really got underway with run 1 disappointments. However Claire Brown kept the Telford flag flying posting another impressive brace of times to claim a highly creditable 6th place in category and 23rd overall.