It's Norris's Lad

Xscape Series Race 5
Xscape Castleford
18th Auugust

So after a much needed summer recess the summer ski racing season resumed with Xscape Castleford hosting a weekend double header with the climax of the popular Indoor Race Series followed by a Sunday shoot out under the banner of the British Indoor Championships.

Rest assured that Castleford was much more prepared for the descent of the summer ski circus that Glasgow ever was. No problems with seating, no being banned from the bar area just for considering bringing a flask into the area, no RoboSecurityGuard patrolling the doors like a lioness protecting her cubs and a pre-prepared storage area for skis. It’s amazing how much smoother things go with a bit of thought and pre planning. Cas, however, doesn’t have the viewing balcony that makes Glasgow so much more viewer friendly (and I use the word friendly advisably) but in allowing bar access there was just about enough window space to make viewing possible if a little awkward.

Also added to this awkwardness was the intermittent sound system in the back room that kind of informed us that “on co se was N th n Bre e fr m Telf d who fi t run t me wa eighte n poin se en s x sec nds and h s bett r d that w th sixt n po t fo r th ee.” Undaunted however the commentator, whose sense of humour always manages to stay drier than my feet ever do, reminded us for the ninth and tenth times this summer that “Norris’s lad – Scott McWhirter was on course” A great line, granted, but even Only Fools and Horses doesn’t get repeated quite as often. In addition, given that he is without doubt the best MC is the business I’m now demanding a new, fresher line for next time round.

On the snow itself the action was as fierce as usual. In the minis Jordan Fellows finally contrived to convert a bit of plastic form onto the white stuff and managed to metaphorically sneak in at the far post, stealing a win with a faultless second run. Credit has to go to both Jordan and his coaches for this result but I must also note my gratitude to Graham Beck for installing that en-suite shed at the bottom of the course, thus reminding the boy of his fate should he turn in another shocker. In the junior mini category Nathan Breese again looked the class act of the field scorching to the best two times of the day to score another victory and claim the series crown.

In the boys Ashley Breese regained form with a superb brace of runs and blasted to a cracking 24th overall and 1st place in chi 1 by the best part of a second. Oh, how I’ve missed that cheeky, knowing grin. His face at the bottom betrayed his ice man exterior, he knew he’d finally put it all together and the last time I saw that level of ruthlessness is someone’s eyes he was checking a bag for food in Glasgow. Darth Breese indeed. In the ever competitive world of chi 2 Joseph Humfress overcame the inevitable rear end of the field ruts to claim a creditable 20th place with a brace of solid runs that should provide him with the belief to progress.

Then came the much vaunted triple slalom event. After being severely reprimanded by my team for just calling them plain old Telford I dragged my extremely tired and cold body out into the fridge for one more time – Heaven knows how they felt! Sadly, progress wasn’t to be and an early exit awaited them, although not before Jordan had turned a relatively comfortable win into a bit of a bum cruncher by taking a face full of snow three gates from home. With Graham Beck’s shed echoing to the sound of “in you go lad” and the door slamming shut behind him the birthday boy leapt back up like a salmon racing home up the River Dee, hiked up to the missed gate in a flash and sheepishly cruised the last three gates not once daring to make eye contact with the wooden building on his left hand side. You lucky, lucky boy.