What does the 0 in 05.00hrs stand for?

There’s nothing like a decent Sunday morning lie in. However, for those who crawled out of bed at a time that should be illegal on a Sunday morning, this was nothing like a decent lie in. Indeed by 5.15am the car was loaded, breakfast had been attempted and a catsuit had been filled by a half asleep racer whom probably didn’t realise that 5 o’clock happened twice in one day. Yes, indeed my son, the 0 in 05.00 hrs stands for "O my God it's early."

At 6.30 we were circumnavigating the Starship Chill Factore, a futuristic building illuminated with blue and white lights that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Indeed I felt a bit like Fallon Colby as I made my way towards the entrance doors.

However, even from the outside I had serious reservations about the apparent 100 metre slope with. Perhaps it was more Tardis than mothership.

Inside, it was clear that the 100m claim was a bit of a red herring. Sure, the bottom 50 metres or so probably were that wide but given the main and nursery pistes are separated by a humungous toboggan/luge feature the possibility of covering the entire width (should you ever be daft enough to try) is roughly about nil.

The main piste itself spans around 40 metres in width and is a similar length to Britain’s three Xscape slopes, as is the gradient. This is where the similarity ends however. With each development the snowmaking at Xscape improves and this trend has continued at Chill Factore. Even though the snow was nowhere near the management’s desired depth and it is yet to be fully packed down the skiers only had good words to say about the quality of surface. A white carpet of distinction.

For spectators the early start bought a few teething issues. With coffee facilities not opening until 8am and main piste viewing courtesy of a mall window (no seats) due to the main bar being closed there was a distinct need of the calming benefits of caffeine early on. These however are only teething issues. Give the site a month or so and I’d anticipate that they’ll have these issues sorted out.

The can be no question that Chill Factore is a magnificent facility that can only help to improve the quality of British ski racing. The more facilities that we get like this in the UK the better. And, whilst there’s a fair chance that Chill Factore won’t turn our National team into competition that frightens the life out of the Austrians just yet, if it takes us one step closer to consigning those video clips of Konrad Bartelski in Val Gardena to history then that alone will be progress.



The Starship Chill Factore


Fresh Tracks anyone?


100 Metres? Well it is here


Telford Training Time


Lift passes at the ready

You Don't Want To Leave Your Car There Mate

Saturday 10th November
Midland Ski Club Race
Ackers, Birmingham

There I was, a-digging this hole
A hole in the ground, so big and sort of round it was
There was I, digging it deep
It was flat at the bottom and the sides were steep
When along, comes this bloke in a bowler which he lifted and scratched his head
Well we looked down the hole, poor demented soul and he said
“Well it looks like we’ll have to cancel the race tomorrow”

OK, so good old Bernie Cribbins didn’t quite craft the last line but at two o’clock on Friday afternoon the Ackers complex was ringed by police security tape and more off limits than a newspaper interview with Elton John’s toupee maker. As we all know, ski racing is a mighty serious sport but when compared to mystery 30 feet holes exposing main gas lines those newly serviced razor sharp carvers do tend to have to take a back seat.

Then, just as the last phone call informing entrants that the race had been cancelled had been completed, the police pulled out, the cordon removed, Ackers re-opened and the race was back on. All the organisers had to do was re-contact the 70 or so people they’d just spoken to.

For those who’ve never been Ackers is based in the Small Heath area of Brum. And if you thought that Birmingham itself was a rather grey, unwelcoming place, then you’d be right but Small Heath takes grey and unwelcoming to an altogether different level. Black & White TV was made for this neck of the woods, indeed being blunt about it Small Heath, in nightclub parlance, is a Grade A “five to twoer”. So as you drive down the lengthy speed bump riddled track it is a pleasant surprise to find a fully functional outdoor pursuit and activity centre at the end of it. A genuine light at the end of the tunnel, a beacon that all Midlands local authorities should look at, envy and aspire to.

On the slope Telford again produced a fine turn out with all but Charlotte Gould competing in the mini or children’s categories. In the SuperMini categories William Lucas stamped his authority in the competition from the word go with a fine effort of 13.17, a time none of his competitors could get anywhere near to although Harry Dovey gave it his best shot recovering from a run 1 dnf to claim 4th in category.

In the Mini Girls Claire Ainswoth made it a 2007 WMSA hat-trick by claiming victory here to go with wins at Telford & Stoke. Emma Taylor also claimed a magnificent 3rd place in category overcoming racers considerably older and more experienced into the bargain and Rachael Ratledge claimed a promising 6th place despite a 2nd run dsq.

In the Mini boy category Telford provided complete domination with Jordan Fellows finishing his plastic mini career with a win, followed home by Kirran Singh Khalsa in 2nd, Nathan Breese in 3rd & Daniel Taylor in 4th. Joshua Ainsworth’s highly creditable 12th place should also be taken in the context that he was racing children considerably older and more experienced and this was a fine result for a 1999 child in a hugely competitive category.

With no girls in the Chi 1 category the stage was set for Oliver Dovey to make a mark in the boys category, which he did in fine style recovering from a small 1st run deficit with a fantastic 2nd run to claim another impressive victory.

With Chi 2 girls being a bit of a hot bed of Telford racers hopes were high and Claire Brown ensured that they were not unplaced demolishing both the course and her opposition with a super first run time of 10.24, Charlotte Shrimpton placed in 3rd place with the ever improving George Gould right on her coat tails in 4th. In the Boys Marco Furio continued his fine progression placing 3rd in fiercely fought category.

In the Jn1 girls Charlotte Gould celebrated her progression under 100 BARTS points taking 2nd with another stirling performance and the honour of being the fastest Telford racer of the day.

Performance of the day however has to go to Emma Taylor. As a December 1999 born child her task of making the podium amongst a group of racers significantly older and more experienced appeared to be verging on the impossible but two super 13 odd second runs proved that this is a girl determined not to live in the shadow of her big brother. Well done Emma.

Tis Lovely For You Boyo

Welsh Championships
Pontypool
8th & 9th September

With all roads leading to the English Rivera, or Wales as some of the local prefer to call it, half a dozen of Telford’s finest assembled on Saturday morning in the car park at Pont-y-pwl and hiked their required equipment up an already well beaten track.

Were we in for sunshine, showers, wind or fog? None of us could be sure, certainly the weather took a couple of hours to decide and after offering us a taste of what we'll see in the Alps this winter with a chilly wind it eventually settled for blue skies and a cracking afternoon in the sunshine.

All I had to do now was drag my not so aerodynamic frame up that bloody plastic hill another four times this weekend. My knee ached just from the thought of it. When you get to the top the view is truly breath taking – well it would be if I had any breath left at this point. Usually I find myself devouring air at the summit like a steam train blasting along the Severn Valley Railway, panting like a rottweiler who’d been left out in the mid day sun and sweating like a smuggler who’s been asked to open the back of his Transit. More Noel Edmonds than Edmund Hillary I’m afraid.

On the hill the racing was a fierce as ever. In the minis on Saturday Jordan Fellows followed up his success from the previous weekend by posting the two fastest times of the day in category to make it a National Championship double. Partner in crime, Nathan Breese, again enhanced his burgeoning reputation claiming a number of notable scalps to score another impressive 3rd place overall.

In the girls Charlotte Gould posted an excellent 4th in category and career high of 13th overall, Charlotte Shrimpton claimed 21st overall and 6th in category with Claire (Lara Croft) Brown recovering from a first round meeting with the Dendix with a cracking 2nd run to place 9th in category and sister Ellen claimed an excellent 4th in category with two solid runs. Mixed news for our other two girls however as Abby Clifford’s 2nd run dnf ended any hopes she had of a podium challenge and I’m delighted to report that Georgina Gould straddled, yes straddled! – must be her new racing line - on run 2.

In the boys Jake Williams suffered a truly unlucky dnf after taking a face full of pole mid way down run 1 as a slalom gate on the steep bounced back up, smashed him in the mouth and split his lip (which of course as a Shrew**ury fan was nothing less than deserved). Ashley Breese again led the Telford charge claiming another top 15 overall position and ending up shaved into a category 2nd and Joe Humfress produced another brace of solid runs to post a super 4th in category.

On the Sunday Emma Taylor added her name to this season’s podium roll of honour claiming 2nd place in the mini girls. Jordan finished his plastic mini career disappointed in 2nd place, looking to go out with a bang it never really happened and mistakes on either run left him well short of the winning post. Better news came in the slightly smaller frames of Nathan Breese and Daniel Taylor, the pocket rocket claiming another well deserved 5th place and Dan-the-Man claiming another impressive 8th position in only his 3rd national outing. With much of the field moving into the realms of children 1 next summer watch out for these boys.

Sunday’s girls race saw Abby Clifford leading the Telford charge with 6th overall and 2nd in category. Charlotte Gould added a spectacular 2nd run to a solid 1st time to finish 18th overall (7th in category) building upon Saturday’s fine performance to make up a splendid weekend. Claire Brown posted 21st overall (5th in category), Charlotte Shrimpton claiming 28th overall (10th in category) and two spots in front of Georgina Gould with Ellen Brown producing a brace of consistent times for 5th in category

In the boys, Ashley Breese flew solo with the injury enforced absence of Jake and again impressed claiming 1st place in category and a fine 24th overall.

Testing Courses? Why Aye Man.

All England Championships
Sunderland
1st & 2nd September

With a successful race camp at Rossendale behind them hopes were high of Team Telford success as the All England Championships took place in the most North Eastern part of the country. Silksworth Sports Complex, Sunderland is yet another indictment on the sporting facilities in and around the Midlands area. Yet another quality facility boasting a tennis centre of excellence, a floodlit athletics track, two full sized astro-turf sports pitches, a skate park and angling lake. Community facilities that should leave the councils of Walsall, Sandwell and Wol*****pton hanging their heads in shame as they peruse their pathetically bare cupboards.

Friday night training saw Benn Hall set a brutal course to prepare on and you could see the confidence of racers, parents and trainers drain by the minute as one by one the racers flew out in all directions like Boeings leaving Heathrow. Jordan in particular had a nightmare, taking most of the evening to convert anything into something that resembled a run. Those who put a bit of thought into it however coped well and subsequently proved that it could be skied.

Those who went to bed of Friday thinking that Benn had set them a difficult challenge must have felt like they’d fallen out of bed on Saturday with a pair of brutal championship courses that truly would test everyone’s mettle. This was our national championships and the course setters were clearly out to remind the racers of this. One mistake on either course was going to be fatal - skis in bag time, game over, back in the car, end of story.

And so it proved for the Telford boys. Joe Humfress perished six gates into run 1 and Ashley Breese followed suit on run 2. Forced to go a bit gung-ho after an indifferent morning run Ash’s all or nothing strategy was the correct one even though he ended on the wrong side of the equation.

In the Girls, all four Telford racers survived the day and therefore profited with substantial leaps between their respective start number and finishing position. Charlotte Gould jumped 10 places to finish 12th in Jun1, and in Chi 2 Charlotte Shrimpton came home in 9th with George Gould following her home in 11th, the latter two jumping 15 & 22 places respectively. However, the honour of Telford racer of the day however goes to Abby Clifford, who claimed a fantastic win in the Jun2 category and overall 3rd place in the female race.

The following morning saw the older racers make way for their ankle biting counterparts courtesy of the All England Minis shoot out. Two runs down the same, if slightly less tricky course. Sadly the location appeared to have put a number of racers and parents off so a small(ish) but quality field took to the slope. In the Girls, Megan Jenkins, as expected, found herself in a class of her own. From a Telford point of view Emma Taylor made her second national racing start, successfully negotiated both courses and posted a super 5th place.

In the boys the predicted head to head battle between Rocket Robert Poth and Jordan Fellows never really happened. With Jordan drawn first to go in the boys race a hush descended on the hill, well it did until his idiot old man screamed “CCCCOOOOMMMMEEE OOONNN” as he blasted out of the gate, almost taking the starter and back up timer off their seats in fright. 15.99 seconds later he had laid down the challenge. Others tried but it wasn’t until Rocket Robert climbed into his skis that Jordan’s time looked in danger. Sadly, Robert came out at the tricky gate after the hairpin and though he hiked back up his challenge was over. Half an hour later the race was completed, Jordan’s safe second run was sufficient for the win he so desperately craved and Rocket Rob had claimed the fasted time of the race with a cracking 2nd run.

In another mixed day for Telford, Daniel Taylor again impressed posting two good runs to claim a super 9th place, an excellent performance for a lad with so little experience and fine reward for a summer of hard work and development. However this was contradicted somewhat by an unlucky DNF for Nathan Breese, who looked set for a competitive time until finding the back hairpin gate wrapping itself around him and taking him down to matting level. His time will come however.

As for the team event, well I’m sorry, but I have to confess that after Jordan’s win it all felt a bit like after the Lord Mayor’s show. Team Telford put in a much better showing than last year with Ashley noteably claiming the scalp of one or two more experienced racers and Abby producing the best start I've ever seen in a duals race. Charlotte Shrimton proved a reliable 3rd leg and Charlie Gould's last leg overhauling of Sharks A was truly exhilarating. However, our more experienced opponents outgunned us this time and an early exit awaited. This almost managed to keep us dry but a monsoon between rounds 4 & 5 meant that even our exit after the league stages, in equal 4th, didn’t quite save us from this summer’s now customary drenching.

Abby, takes the win in Jun 2

Jordan follows suit in the minis

"I went a week without Stella and you get the trophy?"

No Crisps, No Rubbish and in Bed By Eight!

Telford Training Camp
Rossendale
27th - 30th August

“You’ll be doing fitness work and ski prep in the mornings and skiing hard in the afternoons. There will be no crisps, no rubbish, no fizzy pop, be in bed by 8pm and NO Stella Artios for the adults” I don’t know about the racers but I was frozen to the spot, riddled with fear like a rabbit staring into headlights. Sweat began to appear on my brow. Blimey, even as a spectator this week was going to be tough.

True to the coaches word it was a tough week. Each morning bought a varied programme of fitness work. From sprinting to agility and balance all areas were covered. Wednesday’s fitness test highlighted those who had been following their fitness programmes and those who preferred a morning dabble on their Playstation to press ups and Thursday’s Cooper Test truly tested the stamina of our athletes already weary legs.

With the matting at Rossendale in its current state it was important for the racers edges to be sharp. Richard’s demo on ski servicing was welcomed by novices and experts alike and by the end of the week all of the racers had managed to prep their own skis at least twice. However, I doubt that I was the only one who could feel the pain growing in my wallet as Mr Breese dragged gadget and gizmo after gadget and gizmo out of his tardis-esque tool box.

And so to the skiing. A relatively young bunch even by our recent standards took to the slope, joined for one day by the comparative elder stateswoman that is Abby Clifford. All worked extremely hard and all seemed to enjoy the week. Blessedly crashed were few and far between and with the exception of an Ashley Breese special – does he do anything by half? – a Daniel Taylor Wednesday hat trick of excursions onto the matting and Charlotte Shrimpton’s close encounter with the netting most our the racers managed to hold onto a vertical stance. In fact the only break of the whole week was that of our day visitor Robert Poth’s Leki pole.

This isn’t to say that the bottom of the slope spectators went without the usual array of crashes. Quite why parents feel the need to book their children slope time and expect them to cruise down like our racers without an ounce of instruction is utterly beyond me. Oh how I felt for the little chap whose dad kept pointing at Nathan, suggesting that his lad should “watch how he stops” and then stood there as the newcomer launched himself down the slope and straight into the safety net time and again, hitting the net so fast and hard that he was in danger of turning himself into chips! Predictably this eventually led to an explosion of tears of frustration, an early exit from the slope quite possible never to return.

Perhaps we are spoiled by the quality of coaching we get at Telford, or the organisation of school holiday ski schools. Perhaps I am just being harsh, but every day there were too many kids on the slope and out of control, despite the fact they have two very good and safer nursery slopes.

Performance of the week is a hard one. Each and every athlete gave the week their all. Joe Humfress can be well pleased with his improvement as can Daniel Taylor. Quite how such little legs coped with the demands of Mr Breese I’ll never know and his early week promotion into the race group was fine reward for a magnificent effort.

Of Alan’s group, well all should be delighted and proud of their efforts. Emma Taylor & Rachael Ratledge improved beyond recognition as did Emily, Adam & Kirran. However man of the week has to go to Marco Furio. As a relative newcomer to skiing generally and racing in particular the Man from Milan (via Shrewsbury) has taken to this ski racing lark like his coach took to Stella Artios. His line was great, as was his posture, angulation and determination to improve. It may take him a while to settle into the demands of Chi 2 racing next year but unlike his slalom times he is on the way up. Well done Marco.

Also, a word of thanks to the coaches. As usual, the Right Honourable Sir Alan Ashfield was in prime form, cajoling every single ounce of talent out of his group whilst keeping a close eye on those in the race group. As I’ve already noted the improvement in this group was staggering. Richard Breese, was well Richard Breese, thoughtfully developing a programme of drills and courses that kept the racers on their toes for all four days and improved every one of their techniques. The fact he has sacrificed so much of his own time to developing this group and executed so many training days this summer should not go un-noticed. We are very lucky.

Thoughts now switch to the All England Championships. Can we sneak a podium or two this weekend? Well, if they convert hard work and talent into a brace of runs over the weekend then they have a chance. Fingers, toes, arms, legs and eyes will be all be crossed. Well done everyone, do your best.

British Indoor Championships

British Indoor Championships
Xscape Castleford
19th August

And so, after the longest ski racing day in the history of longest ski racing days, Castleford held the final event of the six race programme, the glamorously entitled British Indoor Championships. As is the norm with the indoor series the acceptance list was again bursting at the seams as the countries active ski-dome and mountain racers took on the very keenest of the Dendix brigade.

In the minis Nathan Breese looked on course to spring a bit of a shock as he flew down the top section of run 1. Sadly, a missed gate three quarters of the way down, eliminated him from the competition but not before he had sent out warning signals to everyone who intends to compete with him next year. My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen consider yourself well and truly warned, this boy is the real deal.

Jordan Fellows followed up the previous day’s good form with another brace of promising runs to claim a richly deserved 2nd place. One mistake on the top section of run one left him with too much to do on run 2 and despite a super run on the second course he had to settle for being runner up.

In the male category Ashley Breese led the chasing pack in chi 1 by the thickness of a cigarette paper going into the second course and despite a pretty decent and fault free second run he also found himself collecting the runners up prize, shaved out of the winners circle by 0.05 seconds.

Joe Humfress again had to contend with a high number start time and subsequently the ruts left by the earlier athletes destroyed any chances he had of a clean run. Despite this he should be extremely pleased after posting two solid runs that will see him moving forward through the field next spring.

Man of the weekend? Well to be fair it could have been any one of the four. Nathan would have stolen it but for that one missed gate and had Ashley have held onto win on Sunday I'd have gone with him. Joe Humfress produced the best form I've seen from him so far at a race but for once I'm going to give it to Jordan for stringing together a complete weekend of future promise. I must be going soft in my old age but well done sunshine.

It's Norris's Lad

Xscape Series Race 5
Xscape Castleford
18th Auugust

So after a much needed summer recess the summer ski racing season resumed with Xscape Castleford hosting a weekend double header with the climax of the popular Indoor Race Series followed by a Sunday shoot out under the banner of the British Indoor Championships.

Rest assured that Castleford was much more prepared for the descent of the summer ski circus that Glasgow ever was. No problems with seating, no being banned from the bar area just for considering bringing a flask into the area, no RoboSecurityGuard patrolling the doors like a lioness protecting her cubs and a pre-prepared storage area for skis. It’s amazing how much smoother things go with a bit of thought and pre planning. Cas, however, doesn’t have the viewing balcony that makes Glasgow so much more viewer friendly (and I use the word friendly advisably) but in allowing bar access there was just about enough window space to make viewing possible if a little awkward.

Also added to this awkwardness was the intermittent sound system in the back room that kind of informed us that “on co se was N th n Bre e fr m Telf d who fi t run t me wa eighte n poin se en s x sec nds and h s bett r d that w th sixt n po t fo r th ee.” Undaunted however the commentator, whose sense of humour always manages to stay drier than my feet ever do, reminded us for the ninth and tenth times this summer that “Norris’s lad – Scott McWhirter was on course” A great line, granted, but even Only Fools and Horses doesn’t get repeated quite as often. In addition, given that he is without doubt the best MC is the business I’m now demanding a new, fresher line for next time round.

On the snow itself the action was as fierce as usual. In the minis Jordan Fellows finally contrived to convert a bit of plastic form onto the white stuff and managed to metaphorically sneak in at the far post, stealing a win with a faultless second run. Credit has to go to both Jordan and his coaches for this result but I must also note my gratitude to Graham Beck for installing that en-suite shed at the bottom of the course, thus reminding the boy of his fate should he turn in another shocker. In the junior mini category Nathan Breese again looked the class act of the field scorching to the best two times of the day to score another victory and claim the series crown.

In the boys Ashley Breese regained form with a superb brace of runs and blasted to a cracking 24th overall and 1st place in chi 1 by the best part of a second. Oh, how I’ve missed that cheeky, knowing grin. His face at the bottom betrayed his ice man exterior, he knew he’d finally put it all together and the last time I saw that level of ruthlessness is someone’s eyes he was checking a bag for food in Glasgow. Darth Breese indeed. In the ever competitive world of chi 2 Joseph Humfress overcame the inevitable rear end of the field ruts to claim a creditable 20th place with a brace of solid runs that should provide him with the belief to progress.

Then came the much vaunted triple slalom event. After being severely reprimanded by my team for just calling them plain old Telford I dragged my extremely tired and cold body out into the fridge for one more time – Heaven knows how they felt! Sadly, progress wasn’t to be and an early exit awaited them, although not before Jordan had turned a relatively comfortable win into a bit of a bum cruncher by taking a face full of snow three gates from home. With Graham Beck’s shed echoing to the sound of “in you go lad” and the door slamming shut behind him the birthday boy leapt back up like a salmon racing home up the River Dee, hiked up to the missed gate in a flash and sheepishly cruised the last three gates not once daring to make eye contact with the wooden building on his left hand side. You lucky, lucky boy.

Stoke Round 4

Stoke Race Series - Round 4

More to follow.......

In search of Dorothy (and a bit of common courtesy)

Southampton Club National
Sunday 22nd July

And so to the final Club National of 2007, held in sunshine at a picturesque if somewhat isolated part of suburban Southampton. Indeed after parking the car and loading our gear onto a shoulder saving van we were directed down a tree lined gravel path. This in turn eventually led to a rather meandering brick road and at this point I half expected to shortly be bumping into the Tin Man, Dorothy and Toto.

With a really short slope, almost certainly the shortest of the season, and a sharp incline the course was never going to be straight. Indeed after the course setter settled for its third incarnation, it was almost as twisting and mazy as the route down from the car park. Kind out of the start, swing a right, after the hairpin take the first left go straight on for a bit, over the rainbow and fork right. Even TomTom would have required a full course inspection for this one.

In the minis, Jordan failed to adapt his style to the course and struggled to a somewhat pained 2nd place. Indeed, despite the Bloxwich High Street feel provided by the continued firing of the starter’s gun at the neighbouring Athletics track Jordan never really settled all day and skied his three runs like his boots were chock-a-block with lead. Nathan conversely proved that the course could be negotiated smoothly and added another impressive finish to his tally with 4th place. With this race providing probably the season’s biggest field of minis this was a real achievement.

Representation in the female category was unusually sparse for Telford with only the Gould girls in action and with Charlotte producing an unfortunate brace of morning DNF’s it was left to sister George (sounds like a nun) to fly the Telford flag with a super trio of runs placing her a creditable 8th in Chi 2.

In the boys, Ben Cooper promised much with a really encouraging first run that had him placed inside the overall top 20. However a 2nd run dnf and 3rd run first gate straddle left everyone frustrated at one that really got away. Ashley again did what Ashley does and after a feet finding first run he blasted a magnificent second that saw him in 6th place overall at lunch. Sadly he couldn’t quite hold onto this position in the afternoon run and despite another cracking run that saw him comfortably win his category he came home slightly disappointed in 12th position.

Jobsworth of the day has to go to the fellow who shuffled racers into the start gate “number 27…number 26...number 25” might have been an efficient way to greet racers as they prepared themselves to get into the gate but it wasn’t particulally friendly or pleasant. Still, as I’ve previously noted, if put any man in a florescent jacket and provide him with a clip board and a scrap of paper it's a big risk to expect them to also use anything even slightly resembling common sense - especially those who also have moustaches! So imagine the scene as an already DSQ’d Charlotte turns up in the start for her last run after the minis 3rd run had already been completed. It wasn’t her or my fault that the awfully nice and cheery chap who got the kids in order wasn’t listening when we tried to tell him that Charlotte was a DSQ and should subsequently go before the beginning the final run. Nor was it our fault that he decided to shuffle Charlotte in before the girls’ race, but that didn’t deter Moustachioed man from getting all tetchy and officious as we turned up out of sequence at the start gate. Getting tetchy with teenage girls who were only doing what they were told isn’t big or clever.

Man of the day however has to go to Ashley Breese. The fact he was gutted to have finished 12th was testimony to how far he has progressed this year and another sub 100 point score will find him mixing in esteemed company in the summer ending National Championships.

Getting Ready To Rumble

Celtic Cup Rounds 5 & 6
Gloucester
14th & 15th July

With rounds 5 & 6 of Snowsport Wales’ popular Celtic Cup series on the weekend agenda all roads led to the leafy and somewhat sun drenched Welsh town of, erm, Gloucester. Still, if you’re going to borrow part of England for the weekend Gloucester is a decent place to start.

Saturday’s racing was split into two halves, a morning two run single course aggregate timed race and an afternoon dual slalom.

In the minis Jordan Fellows overcame a relatively scratchy first run with a scorching second run to claim a win and Nathan Breese again proved that age and size are no barrier against talent by posting 9th place and leaving a trail of older more experienced minis in his wake.

The Girls race saw Claire Brown take the Telford honours with 20th overall and 4th in chi 2, Charlotte Gould was frustrated back in 22nd overall and sister George should be delighted with 28th. Slowly, but surely, the green shoots of belief are growing, a belief that is reflected in the continued dropping of her times, finishing positions and seed points are coming down. Ellen Brown can also be pleased with her day posting 8th in chi 1 with two solid runs.

Ashley Breese led the way in the boys race, backing up an impressive first run with a solid 2nd to claim another top 30 placing with 29th and 2nd in chi 1. Jake Williams proved to be Mr Consistent with two runs separated by 0.06 seconds to post overall 32nd (5th chi 2), Ben Cooper’s first run dnf left him to contemplate the afternoon duals and Joe Humfress can be pleased with a morning that found him 8th in category and 46th overall.

Unlike just about every FA Cup final that’s ever been, the afternoon duals lived up to the promise of their billing. There’s nothing like head to head racing for excitement. Racers find a gear many of them didn’t know was there as they launch themselves down a hill with the sole intention of finishing ahead of the in the other start gate. Two races stood out from a Telford perspective – the final of the minis with Jordan facing Robert Poth and the big Telford head to head shoot out as Ashley and Ben faced up like two stags at dawn. All that was missing was booming music as each of our skiing cruiserweights made their entrance and Michael Buffer giving it the old "Llllllleeeeeeeeetttttttttsssssss get ready to RRRRRRUUUUMMMMBBBBBLLLEEE." Nothing could separate them as they left the gate and raced down the course, both looking for the one knockout edge change that would propel them across the line first. Gate after gate they slugged it out with nothing more than a cigarette paper between them. However, experience told in the end as the wily nous of Ashley kept him clear of trouble and two gates from requiring the judges decision Ben’s guard slipped and one late gate left him flat out on the mat as Ashley was announced as the victor.

In the minis final Jordan and Robert also slugged it out like a pair of gladiators. The first run of the final left Jordan 0.03 sec after the two lads had produced a breath taking display of synchronised skiing. And after suggesting that he might overturn the deficit in run two, a snatched pole mid way down left Robert with the door ajar. Six gates later and Jordan was again looking like he was homing in but Robert’s brace of faultless runs proved too good and Jordan came in as runner up by an aggregate of 0.07 seconds

For Sunday’s race it was back to the standard routine of one run on two courses and a rain storm of Glastonbury proportions. Indeed given the amount of water and mud around all we were missing was 40 minute sets from The Who and the Arctic Monkeys.

The minis race again saw another Jordan and Robert slug fest. With only 0.15 seconds separating them at the halfway stage the scene was set for another battle royale. And indeed it was, as Robert reacted to a stunner of a second run from Jordan to keep PacBoy at bay. Nathan Breese’s fall midway through the second run cost him the chance of a top 6 place and Kirran’s pair of solid runs found him placed in 8th.

In the girls race Charlotte Gould (6th Jun 1) reversed Saturday’s finishing positions by squeezing in front of an ever more confident Claire Brown (4th in chi 2) with 16th & 17th respectively. George Gould Climbed into 28th overall (11th in category) and not to be outdone the ever smiling Ellen Brown came home in 31st overall & 6th in category.

Ashley Breese again led the Telford charge in the boys race, producing another solid pair of runs to scoop 1st place in chi 1 and 29th overall. Ben Cooper finally added a plastic finish to his snow results placing 4th in chi 2 and 34th overall with Joe Humfress two category places back in 6th.

Congratulations to Ashley for winning the Childran 1 category of the Celtic Cup Series 2007 and Jake Williams for taking overall 3rd in Chi 2.

Sunshine and Skis with Dr Foster

Gloucester Club National
Saturday 7th July –

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester in a shower of, erm, sunshine! and let's be honest - it's been a while since we could say that. With Glasgow attracting a few of the Telford racers, the more local (and infinitely more sensible option) was the short drive down the M5 to the Club National at Gloucester.

The Minis race, awash with Telford debutants, saw Emma Taylor claim a fine 7th place in her first ever outing, a feat impressively matched by her brother Daniel in the boys race. Equally impressive was the 8th place finish achieved by William Lucas. Kirran however was no so fortunate, as a promising morning was lost with a third run ruined by a mid course fall.

In the Girls race Charlotte Gould led the way for Telford, squeezing into the overall top 20 and 6th in Junior 1 with times that improved throughout the day. Charlotte Shrimpton overcame a 2nd run straddle to claim 29th overall and 9th in chi 2 and George Gould claimed 12th in the same category. Our fourth debutant Kirsty Thomas also impressed, claiming 9th in Junior 1 and sub 200 seed points.

In the Boys Marco Furio led the charge with 14th place in the always competitive Children 2 category and Tarran Noble secured 18th in the same class in his first race of the summer.

Ever Get The Feeling You Weren't Really Wanted?

Xscape Series Races 3 & 4
Glasgow
7th & 8th July

You’d have thought, given that they appear to attract fewer paying customers than a Japanese suicide pilot had willing volunteers, when 180 of the countries best racers turned up they might have made a bit of an effort. It’s not like I expected the unrolling of a red carpet or anything as dramatic, indeed their white one is clearly far superior to every other one on our island. What I didn’t expect however was to be made to feel a bit of a nuisance, an inconvenience, a pain in the rear end.

Clearly poor planning was an issue. The facilities event co-ordinator (yes, unbelievably they really do have one) obviously failed to consider the real implications of the best part of 600 people turning up to either race, support, finance or spectate. Which, in turn, led to the farcical, not to mention dangerous, situation that engulfed the corridor between the bar facilities (no outside food) and the exit. An exit that was obstructed by skis, boots, bags, poles, chairs, bodies, the commentary booth and a timing board all sardined between a humungous staircase. Add to this a lack of seating facilities for anyone who was intending to consume anything but bar food and a security guard who took over zealous to a new and all to extreme level and you can feel the volcano of frustration preparing to explode.

By god that Security man was keen. I can’t believe that the job description demanded the ruthless, single dimensional focus of the Terminator, the charisma levels of a daisy or the people skills of Darth Vador but fair play to the fella, he gave it his very best shot. Heaven only knows what he’d have done had he been issued with a light sabre. Indeed, after watching him irritate people all morning the sight of him tipping four pairs of Atomics from the wall to the floor (two of which were mine) nearly pushed me over the edge. He has no idea of quite how close he came to pushing up the aforementioned daisy.

And so to the racing. Saturday’s courses were direct contrasts of one another with a relatively straight course in the morning followed by a second much more technical one at lunchtime. Jordan overcame a dodgy first three gates to string two decent runs together and claimed 2nd place. Nathan Breese went one better and stormed to victory in the junior mini category.

In the Children’s race Telford’s representatives missed out with Ashley Breese compiling a brace of dnf’s whilst Ben Cooper, after a great 1st run, imploded on run 2 falling at Gate 3 and skiing the rest of the course like he’d been twin tagged by Evander Holyfield and Lennox Lewis.

In the afternoon dual slalom race Telford managed to squeeze through round 1, despite a hefty barracking from the rogues representing Hemel and a somewhat backcountry 4th run from the heart stopping Mr Cooper. Round 2 proved a level too far however and whilst the oppositions superior skiing may have played a substantial part in our defeat I have reason to believe my foursome were looking at an early exit in order to minimise the time delay between prize giving and the all you can eat Chinese.

With trophies collected, refuelling was now the only issue and, oh my life, the waiter had the shock of his life when yours truly shuffled through the entrance. The cunning earlier decision to send the slimline Mrs F to pre book a table had lulled them into a false sense of security and the restaurant manager gulped visibly and expired a bead of sweat as he guided us past the buffet whilst simultaneously calculating if that pallet of black bean sauce he’d had delivered yesterday was going to survive the next hour and a half. The Scottish Poultry industry called an emergency minutes’ silence, then switched to crisis overtime as the chicken curry took the kind of beating Frank Bruno took from Iron Mike Tyson and the national reserve of spare ribs plummeted like the Stock Market on Black Wednesday. The lager wasn’t bad either.

Sunday morning saw frustrations reach a new peak. With fewer seats available than during the final round of musical chairs, equipment having to be dumped in a conference room and Robosecurityman refreshed for another battle I was always going to be a lot closer to resembling Hulk than I ever was to David Banner.

On the snow, Jordan produced another solid, if unspectacular brace of runs to claim 3rd place in the Mini 1 category. In Mini 2 Nathan Breese recovered from a subdued first run to blast back in run 2 to claim 2nd place. Ashley claimed 3rd in chi 1 with two runs that should move him closer to the front of the field by the time we get to Castleford. Man of the day however was Ben Cooper, who produced his best racing pair of runs to place well up the overall field.

Will It Ever Stop Raining?

Stoke Club National
Saturday 30th June

Ah, the summer months. Wimbledon, strawberries and cream, barbecues in the garden after work, Pimms and lemonade in the Members Enclosure accompanied by the sweet sound of willow striking leather, maybe even a lazy weekend picnic on parkland scorched by the sun and parched by a chronic lack of moisture.

Well no, not really. How about standing in the pouring rain, utterly drenched at the top of a ski slope, just a few metres closer than most to heavens that are opening and unleashing a torrent of precipitation that, after swamping you, sadistically decides to multiply it’s own irritation level by entrenching itself into the timing gear whilst you wait patiently getting ever wetter at the top of the slope. Will it ever stop raining?

For the convenience of travelling and the fact that it’s a close as we’ll probably ever come to a ‘home’ Club National Stoke is always the first race we all look for on the calendar. As usual Telford produced a decent turnout and with the obvious exception of Abby Clifford’s tracksuit bottoms most of us had a pretty decent day.

The minis race was dominated by Jordan, who in posting the three fastest times of the day, swept to a relatively comfortable victory. Nathan Breese ensured that Telford were again well represented on the podium with another fantastic 3rd place finish. However both boys achievements were overshadowed by Claire Ainsworth, who produced a trio of clean runs to claim victory on her national racing debut. Could her smile get any wider?

In the Girls Georgina Gould again proved her racing credentials with three of her best runs of the season to claim 15th in category and sub 200 points. Charlotte Shrimpton returned to the slope which claimed that front tooth and also produced three consistent times in claiming a creditable 11th place in the same category. Charlotte Gould endured a day that made the weather look bright with a 3rd run dnf that followed scratchy, un-Charlotte like morning. Claire Brown dazzled everyone with three great runs to claim the an excellent 6th in Chi 2 and 18th overall, a position all the more impressive given here lack of Club National experience. Female of the day however has to go to Abby Clifford, who picked herself up off the floor following a pretty hefty bottom section crash that accounted for an 18 inch tear in the side of her tracky bottoms and went on to post the fastest times in both runs 2 & 3 and claim overall and category victories.

Again, we were well represented in the boys field with Marco Furio putting aside debut nerves and a first run dnf to post a brace of promising times to collect 13th in chi 2. Joe Humfress sneaked home in front of Marco with a 12th place in category with both performances providing light at the end of Ben Cooper’s dnf tunnel. He is fast, he will get it right. The male performance of the day however goes to Ashley Breese who improved run on run over the day and so nearly claimed a win in chi, shaded into 2nd by 0.05 seconds.





Sunday 1st July – Pendle Grand Prix 2

With the WMSA Grand Prix unceremoniously moved 17 junctions up the M6 and rebranded into a 2nd NWSF race the amount of racers from Telford were inevitably low. With only four on the acceptance list this was reduced even further by Abby Clifford’s late decision to dry out from the previous day’s racing it was left to the trio of Miss Shrimpton, Gould & Gould to fly the Telford flag on the Witches Hill. Charlotte Gould’s miserable weekend ended as it had begun with a dnf but both of our chi 1 girls can be chuffed with their performances. Charlotte Shrimpton posted her best placing of the season with a super 5th place in category and 16th overall and George Gould placed 7th in category and 18th overall despite stating with bib number 40.

And no it never did stop raining.

Which fool decided to put the car park down there?

Saturday 23rd June. Celtic Cup round 3 - Pontypool

In the morning I awake,
My arms, my legs, my body aches,
The sky outside is wet and grey.
So begins another weary day.
So begins another walk up that bloody hill from the car park with skis and boots and benches and wax boxes and fold up chairs and moaning kids

Apologies to Nutty Boy connoisseurs for the final line but Grey Day by Madness could never have been more appropriate. Pontypool is a fantastic facility deep in the Welsh valleys – well to be more precise the slope itself is in Pontypool. The car park however seems to be somewhere on the outskirts of Merthyr Tydfil. Still if you’ve never been before, just imagine the fun in hiking all your gear and a couple of grumpy kids over a valley and a half of welsh parkland. Indeed, if you possess more arms that the Chinese military, the endurance of a camel and the patience of a saint then it’s a doddle. Otherwise, pretend you’re in a rush to get the boy on the slope in time for practice and promote the other half to the position of senior logistics co-ordinator. Viola, problem solved.

Saturday’s racing was split into two races. A morning & lunchtime two run slalom and a late afternoon single run GS. The slalom saw success for Jordan Fellows who, after shading the first run, blitzed the field on run 2 to claim a comfortable win. Nathan Breese again posted a brace of immaculate runs to claim a fine 6th place despite gravity not really being all that helpful.

In the Girls race Abby Clifford missed out with a dnf but Charlotte Gould ensured that Telford were represented within the overall top 20 and claimed 8th position in category. Charlotte Shrimpton posted her best result of the season by taking 23rd overall and 6th in category and George Gould collected her personal best tally of seed points with a pair of great runs to finish 8th in category and 28th overall

In the boys Ashley Breese posted the best single run of the day from a Telford racer and followed it up with another belter in the second run to claim 2nd in category and 22nd overall. Jake Williams claimed his first podium of the season, collecting 3rd in chi 2 with Joe Humfress, adapting to life on new skis, not far behind in 8th. Ben Cooper, also on new Atomics, endured another frustrating slalom after bursting out of his bindings on run 1 but still went on to post a brace of finishes in claiming 15th in category.

The afternoon GS was an altogether new affair for many of the Telford Racers. In the minis Nathan Breese claimed 11th place and Jordan claimed another podium place in 2nd. In the females, Abby Clifford ended the day on a high with 6th overall & 3rd in category, Charlie Gould defied even her own expectations with 13th overall and 3rd in category and Charlotte Shrimpton and George Gould both impressed on plastic GS debuts with overall finishes of 24th & 37th respectively.

In the boys, Jake Williams scorched to a superb win in category, Ashley Breese posted 2nd in category, Joe Humfress claimed 13th in children 2 and to the sound of a standing ovation and sighs of relief that could be heard back all the way in the Midlands Ben Cooper collected his first ever national podium position after blasting to 3rd place in chi 2.

Sunday 24th June. Celtic Cup Round 4 - Pontypool

Sunday’s slalom was a slightly more jaded affair as we all felt the after effects of another leg busting climb up the path and the longest racing day of the year 24 hours earlier. In the minis Jordan Fellows survived a 180 mid air spin to claim 2nd and Nathan Breese again proved his sound technique with a fine 6th place finish.

In the Girls, Charlotte Gould survived a mis-placed pole out of the start of run 1 to post 20th place and sister George bettered her performance of the previous day with a fantastic 22nd and sub 200 seed points.

In the boys Ashley Breese let victory slip through is fingers (or legs to be more precise) with a final gate straddle, Jake Williams claimed a great 2nd in category and Joe Humfress can look forward to the publishing of the next set of seed points after improving his seed point ranking in claiming a great 9th place in chi 2.

Storm Clouds Blown Away By Sharp Breese

Saturday 15th June - Sunderland Club National

Rarely do you get a decent Friday afternoon motorway drive, it’s a familiar drill of stop-start-stop on the tarmac and a proverbial cry of “are we there yet” from the back as you nudge bumper to bumper through Wednesbury High Street. This particular Friday afternoon, however, took frustration to an altogether different level. With the global warming induced monsoon season in full swing and the Bloxwich Farmers Guild considering converting their land into paddy fields on a full time basis a small but determined band of Telford racers crawled their way north. The only certainty being that it was a long way and that they were never going to make Friday night practice.

Saturday’s Club National was no less of a test of endurance. Given a course that threw out more people than a stressed night-club bouncer it was clear that whilst the quest for speed was still the key, thoughts of survival wouldn’t be all that far behind.

And so it proved as Ashley compiled a brace of morning dnf’s to bring a premature end to his day with Ben Cooper, after posting a time in run 2, following suit in his 3rd run.

In the Girls, Ellen Brown proved that endurance was the key as she scored increasingly quicker times through the day in claiming a great 5th place in Chi 1 and sister Claire followed suit with progressively faster runs to claim an excellent 5th in Chi 2. In the Junior categories Charlotte Gould also posted a trio of increasingly impressive times to claim an excellent 6th in category, 16th overall and sub 100 seed points, a performance eclipsed only by Abby Clifford who scored a win in category, 2nd place overall and notched the fastest female time of the day.

In the minis Jordan Fellows failed to capitalise on an excellent morning with a 3rd run mistake leading to a hefty wipe-out, a face full of matting and the inevitable dnf. However man of the day has to go to Nathan Breese, who claimed what will surely be the first of many Club National wins. In a category dominated by dnf’s the Pocket Rocket produced three flawless runs to take victory as his more experienced counterparts struggled to cope with the course conditions. Well done lad.

Sunday 16th June - Sunderland Grand Prix

As with the previous days Club National course, the Sunday Grand Prix collected more than it's fair share of dnf's & dsq's. Abby, Ashley & Charlotte's day was all over before it really got underway with run 1 disappointments. However Claire Brown kept the Telford flag flying posting another impressive brace of times to claim a highly creditable 6th place in category and 23rd overall.

Girls, Girls, Girls

10th June – Wycombe Club National

What a complex! A six lane athletics track, squash courts, tennis courts, a gym, a physiotherapy, an olympic sized cycling track and a rather smart and steep dry ski slope. You don’t get this on a council estate in Wednesbury. Add in 180 of the best UK dry slope racers out there and you’ll find that that despite the sun being in skin burning form all of the real scorching was being done on the matting.

With the Breese brothers absent it was left to Jordan to fly solo in a hotly contested minis race, eventually claiming a decent 2nd place finish after a his morning was compromised with a 1st run dnf.

Apart from that it was girls, girls, girls as Charlotte Shrimpton again proved a model of consistency in claiming 9th place in a really competitive Chi 2. Claire Brown edged in front of Charlotte squeezing into 9th place posting identical times in runs 1 & 3. Sister Becky matched her feat with an impressive 8th in Junior 1 on debut and Ellen went sub 250 points in claiming 10th place in Children 1.

The Gould Girls suffered triple disappointment however as an injury from the Stoke race 24 hours earlier forced the withdrawl of Squeak and Bird threw away a fantastic opportunity to take her seed points into double figures with a third run 360, after absolutely nailing the tricky hairpin. The pair then had to watch in horror as mum Jane turned all florescent and officious with a spot of third round gate judging. Fair play to Charlotte however. With mum patrolling the bottom two gates like Admiral Lord Nelson marshalling the fleet at Waterloo, Bird had the good sense to cross the finish line as far away from mum as possible, therefore limiting the possibility of receiving a hefty whack around the back of the head from a low flying clip board. By God, she’s power mad that woman.

The Three Muskeskiers

9th June – Suffolk Club National

Brilliant viewing, ample parking, 180 metres of good quality Dendix and a really interesting terrain all go towards making Ipswich the best event of the Club National calendar. Only three Telford racers made the trip down the A14 however but all came away with great results.

In a really competitive children 1 category, Ashley claimed a joint 2nd and managed to post a 1st ever top 30 overall placing despite being hampered on run 3 by an out of control right hand pole which prevented any real acceleration out of the gate. In the minis, Telford racers dominated the prizes with Nathan producing three faultless runs and one breath taking stamping of the second gate down for a superb 3rd place and Jordan scored the three fastest times of the day in category the claim a fine 1st place.


9th June - Stoke Fun Race #3
Another great turnout from Telford competed in the third and penultimate round of the popular summer race series. On the slope Emma Taylor raced to second place in the U8 girls, Claire Ainsworth and Emily Humfress both went one better and made it a hat trick of series wins in the girls U10 & U12 categories. Charlotte Shrimpton claimed 3rd in the U14s and Kirsty Thomas claimed another win in the unregistered under 16 category. Girl of the day however was Charlotte Gould who blitzed the field to claim victory in category and the overall female crown.

In the boys, William Lucas claimed 2nd in the U8’s with Joshua Ainsworth claiming 5th. In the U14 category Joe Humfress impressed with a great 2nd place, Marco Furio claimed 5th and Adam Buffrey placed 10th. The U12’s saw William Haycox shade brother Adam, claiming 8th & 9th places respectively and Charlie Haycox claimed an excellent 4th place in the U10’s. Man of the day however went to Daniel Taylor who blasted to his first ever race win and became the third Telford racer to win the U10’s in this series. Well done Dan.

Green Matting, Sheep and Sunshine

Saturday 2nd June – Pendle Club National
And so the ski circus moved on to Pendle, hill of the witches (and sheep dung). Where if the sun shines then the view is majestic, but if the clouds win the battle then you know that you’re going to get drenched. Add in 130 metres of green rolling Dendix and speed sapping flatness and you realise that if ever there was a slope that offered maximum home advantage then this is it.

Again, Telford racers were out in big numbers, Emily Humfress notably making her Club National debut. In the minis Jordan produced three solid runs for 3rd place and Nathan, after remembering to take both his poles down with him on runs 2 & 3 placed 7th, again finding himself as the highest place non-1997 born racer. In the girls Ellen Brown claimed a fine 6th place in Chi 1 nudging Emily Humfress into 7th. In chi 2, the soon to be renamed Georgina ‘Squeak’ Gould finished in 18th, Charlotte Shrimpton was a model of consistency in 11th and Claire Brown squeezed into 10th, also claiming a place in the overall top 30. In the junior ranks Abby Clifford swept to victory in category and 4th overall despite her morning being compromised with a 1st run DNF and Charlotte Gould posted another fine finish with 7th in Junior 1.

In the boys Ashley Breese claimed the honours with an excellent 3rd place in chi 1 and Joseph Humfress built upon his early season promise to place 14th in chi 2. However man of the day (and you might need to be seated at this point!) goes to Ben Cooper who finally, finally, finally added a 3rd run time to a decent morning and collected 12th place in category and sub 250 seed points.

Sunday 3rd June – Pendle Grand Prix
A smaller representation from Telford for the Grand Prix saw Abby Clifford go one better than her Saturday result in collecting 3rd overall to add to another win in Junior 2. Ashley Breese found himself just edged off the podium in 4th and Charlotte Gould can again be pleased with her weekend’s performance with a solid 8th place in Junior 1.

By 'Eck, It's Grim Up North

27th May – Arrows Club National
Rossendale Ski Slope, venue of the All England Champs, the 2007 Telford Summer Camp, the greyest skies and the coldest wind anywhere outside of the North East. Whoever invented the words 'bleak' and 'overcast' must have lived in Rossendale at some time.

Ah yes, the racing. In the minis Jordan, Nathan and Kirran all looked to challenge for the honours. Messer’s Fellows & Breese claimed fine 2nd & 6th places but Kirran split the seemingly inseparable duo with an excellent 4th place. Ashley had a frustrating morning with a brace of DNF’s whilst Ben scuppered a great opportunity to gatecrash the Grand Prix party by missing a gate on run 3 after a fine 1st run but Joe Humfress again impressed recovering from a first run DNF to post a highly creditable 12th place in category.

In the girls, Chi 2 (or what looks likely to be renamed the Dad’s Army category) our walking wounded girls placed well with a bruised Charlotte Shrimpton returning to action with 9th place despite being handicapped by a less than aerodynamic front tooth and George Gould hobbled down run 3 after a pulled muscle in the morning. Blimey, the paramedic gave George a paracetemol to ease the pain in her leg and it took her longer to swallow it than it took Dr Harmon Morse to invent and patent the bloody stuff. Claire Brown‘s seasonal debut was spoiled by a brace of morning DNF’s but sister Ellen showed Claire the way with an excellent 7th in category. The honour of racer of the day however has to go to Charlie Gould, recently re-christened ‘Bird’ and blimey did she fly. 3rd in Junior 1 and 18th overall was a fine reward for the hard work of the winter.

Three Slopes, One Weekend, Lots of Driving

19th May – Stoke Race Series – Race 2
Race 2 of the Stoke fun series saw another hefty contingent from Telford in attendance. Spirits were almost immediately dashed however as the morning warm up session witnessed Charlotte Shrimpton’s horror crash that required a visit to the hospital and what looks likely to be a lot more to the dentist. As for those who raced we saw category wins for Emma Taylor, Claire Ainsworth, Charlotte Gould, Kirsty Thomas, Emily Humfress, Kirran Singh Khalsa, Joe Humfress and William Lucas. Oliver Dovey and Daniel Taylor added to this rather impressive haul by claiming 3rd places in their respective categories

19th May – Norwich Club National
With the Telford masses descending on Stoke Jordan, Nathan and Ashley cut somewhat lonely figures at what is without doubt the finest dry slope facility in the country. Nathan again delivered, claiming another impressive top 5 finish in the minis, Jordan recovered from a nightmare morning to steal 2nd place in the same category and Ashley added to that with 3 super runs to claim 3rd in chi 1 category

20th May – Norwich Grand Prix
With GP entry criteria excluding minis Ashley found himself in a one man team and despite the lack of Telford numbers we still ended up with a podium as Ash raced to 3rd in Chi 1

20th May - WMSA Schools Race 2007
And whilst the boy Breese was racing onto the Norfolk podium the rest of the Telford racers all headed to Madeley for our second and final home event of the summer. In the Girls categories the racers from Telford completely swept the board with Emma Taylor, Claire Ainsworth, Emily Humfress, Claire Brown, Charlotte 'Bird' Gould and Abby Clifford claiming wins. Podium positions were also claimed by Helen Fisher, Becky Brown, Kirsty Thomas, Charlotte Shrimpton, George Gould, Ellen Brown & Elisabeth Thomas. In addition, Chloe Ruston and Nadia Hicken both claimed 4th in category. In the boys, William Lucas, Jordan Fellows, Oliver Dovey, Ben Cooper and Jack Cottam claimed wins in all categories barring the u16 crown. Places were also captured by Harry Dovey, Kirran Singh Khalsa, Joseph Ruston, and Joe Humfress. Well done everyone.

The Great Indoors

12th May – Xscape Series, Race 1
The first of the 5 part indoor series saw another indifferent showing from the Telford lads. Jordan and Nathan’s day was over before it had really started with run 1 DNF’s and Ben and Ashley followed suit in run 2. Joe Humfress however spared our blushes with a fine morning run on the way to 24th place

13th May – Xscape Series, Race 2
So with the previous morning’s nightmare fresh in everyone’s mind the pressure was cranked up a notch or two for race 2 of the indoor series. Nathan led the charge with an outstanding brace of runs that not only left him as the victor in the younger mini category but a magnificent 4th in the minis overall. Jordan returned to form with a 2nd place in the minis and Joe Humfress added a cracking second run to a solid first taking 20th place in Chi 2. Ben and Ashley both found themselves out of the hunt with DNF’s although Ashley should at least be able to recoup £250 from You’ve Been Framed as his monster, marshall scattering net busting double clicker at least made it onto the camcorder. If anyone beats this crash this year they’re gonna be sore!

Hemel weekend

5th May - Hemel Club National
With 236 racers it was always going to be a long day and whilst it wasn’t quite the ice age fighting back global warming we did have to wait almost the whole day to see anything that remotely resembled sunshine. On the track Nathan Breese followed up the promise of the Celtic Cup series openers compiling three superb runs to claim a highly creditable 5th place in the minis category. Jordan Fellows also proving his consistency with the three fastest times of the day in the minis to take 1st place. In the girls Abby had a morning to file away and forget with a brace of DNF’s, Georgina Gould failed to build on two great morning runs with a DNF in her 3rd run, Charlotte Shrimpton claimed 12th place in chi 2 with three solid times and Charlie Gould smashed her seed point ranking by taking an excellent 9th Place in jn1. In the boys Ashley claimed 4th place in chi 1, Joe Humfress instantly took his seed points below the 250 mark in claiming 17th in Chi 2, a feat that would have been matched by Ben Cooper but for the most officious of officials, whom for every ounce of common sense also had an ounce and a half of pettiness, chose to disqualify Ben for missing a verbal instruction. Quite why men feel the need to detach their brain when wearing a florescent yellow jacket is the eighth wonder of the modern world. God help us.

6th May – Hemel Grand Prix
And so to the first Grand Prix of summer 2007. On a brute of a second course Ashley, lying in 3rd place after run 1, straddled whilst looking like improving on his position. Abby also followed suit and so it was left to the two Charlotte’s to battle it out for Telford. In ch1 2 Charlotte Shrimpton claimed 9th place and in jn1 Charlie Gould placed 14th.

Plastic Fantastic

28th April - Celtic Cup Race 1 – Rossendale
The first national dry race of the season saw full measures of both pre race tension and hope. How well did we winter? Have we improved? Well the answers were pretty well and oh yes. With Ashley Breese vacating the mini’s podium it was time for others to step up to the mark and our young lads didn’t disappoint with Jordan Fellows claiming a fine win and Nathan Breese following his team mate home to claim an excellent 3rd. Ashley translated his mini form into the children’s category by easing to his first win of the season in Children 1 and 27th overall. Jake Williams claimed 8th in Chi 2 with his partner in crime Ben Cooper finishing 16th. In the girls George Gould showed her sister a clean set of heels by racing to 13th and Charlotte Shrimpton continued the good form of last summer by claiming 7th place in chi 2. Performance of the day however goes to Abby Clifford who claimed a win double by demolishing the field to claim both category and overall victories.

29th April - Celtic Cup Race 2- Rossendale
With this ski racing game being so easy it was no surprise to see similar success in race 2. Well, erm, not exactly. Flushed with the successes of the previous afternoon, and with new coach Mr Blagdon looking on, one by one our racers bought themselves back down to earth with a bit of a thump. Jordan, Charlie, Ben, Jake and Abby all managing to end their productive weekend in the DNF shed. Inevitably the day was saved by the Breese Brothers with Ash doubling up on the previous afternoon’s Chi 1 win and Nathan claiming a fine 4th place in the minis. Congratulations should also go to Ash for securing a top 20 finish overall. Kirran produced a strong couple of runs to claim 6th in the minis, Charlotte Shrimpton claimed 14th in Ch2 girls with George Gould securing sub 250 seed points by following Charlotte into 15th. Both girls also claimied spots in the overall top 25 girls.

Stoke Race Blog

21st April - Stoke Race Series – Race 1
The first dry racing weekend of the season saw William Lucas and Emma Taylor scorch to victories in the U8 categories. Harry Dovey and Joshua Ainsworth also impressed with excellent 3rd & 5th places respectively. In the U10’s Claire Ainsworth & Jordan Fellows raced to wins with Daniel Taylor claiming a fine 3rd and Charlie Haycox claiming 5th. In the U12’s Oliver Dovey scored a superb 3rd place in the boys and Emily Humfress matched the feat in the girls with Adam Haycox shading brother William for an impressive 5th in a fiercely fought category. Honours for the U14 were claimed by Ben Cooper and Charlotte Shrimpton, with Joe Humfress taking an excellent 3rd and George Gould blasting her way into a fine 4th. However the prize for racer of the day has to go to Charlotte Gould who beat off stiff competition to not only take 1st place in the U16 girls but also claim the fastest time of the day for the girls. Well done indeed.